Raising Children with a View of the World

By Kristin Welch

Nothing shakes your world like returning from a third world country that is riddled with disease and poverty. Nothing makes you question yourself, your motives, and your own sanity more than trying to blend your old worldview with your new one. Nothing makes you want to raise compassionate children like meeting people the world has forgotten.

I have amazing kids. They are sweet and well-behaved (most days), but they are typical American children. They have too much. They want things instantly and easily. They think about themselves first. They look a lot like their parents.

After returning from my heartbreaking and hopeful trip to Africa, I knew I had to change the way we lived. I wasn’t motivated by guilt; I was moved by compassion. My kids love to play follow the leader. They follow their parents. We’ve just been showing them the American view: bigger houses, nicer cars, more toys, and fitting God into all that stuff.

On a Saturday, I explained to my kids that we would be giving up the occasional house cleaner who made our life easier. I taught them to clean toilets. “Why are we doing this again?” my daughter asked. I pointed to the faces of the four children we were sponsoring through Compassion International, smiling down from their pictures on our refrigerator.She wiped a strand of hair from her eyes, nodded, and went back to scrubbing. She stopped and said thoughtfully, “Mom, I’d like to fill the front of our refrigerator with pictures of children from all over the world.”

It turns out my children were just waiting for their leaders to show them the world. They love praying for a new country at dinner every night. They can’t wait to write to the kids we sponsor. They understand the choice to buy secondhand clothes and less stuff so that we can make our money matter more.  I thought the changes we made in our home would be hard for my kids. I thought there might be resistance. But they love the view and the pictures on our refrigerator.

 

James 1:27

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." NIV

Prayer

Lord, I love you. I want to be like you. I want my children to love others. I want them to be compassionate people. I know that we are saved by grace through faith and not by our works, but I pray that my works are evidence to the world of what you are doing in me. My children are following me; please help me lead them to you. Amen.

This article was excerpted from Kristen Welch's book Don't Make Me Come Up There! (c) 2011 Abingdon Press.

Kristen Welch is a parent just like you and I. Her blog, "We Are THAT Family" www.wearethatfamily.com  delights more than 70,000 women a month with Kristin's often hilarious, always honest reflections on motherhood, marriage, and Christian life. Kristin lives in Texas with her husband and three children. In 2010 she went to Kenya as a blogger for Compassion International. Royalties from her book will benefit The Mercy House, a home for pregnant girls living on the streets of Kenya.

Family Night Startup, Part 4

This is the final entry in a 4-part blog built on the timeless concepts found in 'Teaching to Change Lives' by Dr. Howard Hendricks.  Let's review the seven laws of the teacher:

I. The Law of the Teacher
The effective parent-teacher is a student among students.
II. The Law of Education
The effective parent-teacher realizes that the way people learn determines how you teach.
III. The Law of Activity
Maximum learning is always the result of maximum involvement.
IV. The Law of Communication
To truly impart information requires the building of bridges.
V. The Law of the Heart
Teaching that impacts is not only head-to-head but also heart-to-heart.
VI. The Law of Encouragement
Teaching tends to be most effective when the learner is properly motivated.

VII. The Law of Readiness
The teaching-learning process will be most effective when both student and teacher are adequately prepared. The better the parents are prepared, the better the children learn. You should pray as you prepare the lesson and pray before your Family Night asking God to prepare your children. Readiness is also developed through the Family Night topic selections. If the children are struggling with an issue or have asked you to present a specific topic, you can spend time preparing the lesson with the excitement of finding the answer. They, in turn, come to the Family Night eager to hear the answer. Our attitude of excitement and being in the presence of God permeates our Family Nights. Our children sense it, and our confidence in God is contagious!

The Seven Laws
Teacher
Education
Activity
Communication
Heart
Encouragement
Readiness




Making your Family Night Sensational
The more you involve the senses, the more impressionable the Family Night will be.

• Hearing
Have a Family Theme Song to be played at the beginning of each Family Night to bring family together.
Prayer — assign a different family member to pray each Family Night.

• Sight
Videos — use clips from videos to make a point or set the stage.
Use your video camera to record your activities, then watch as a family. You will make the point two times!
Use a flip chart, white board or felt and pipe cleaners in a shoebox to build "story in a box."
Use sidewalk chalk to draw large animals from a story.

• Taste
Prepare food from Jesus' time — unleavened bread, passover feast elements
Have snacks after Family Night

• Touch
Always have some hands-on activity related to your truth or key principle
Hold hands when you pray or lay hands on for big issues

• Smell
Scented candles to set ambiance
Fire in the fireplace
Baked cookies or brownies
Bake bread during Family Night

We want to recommend the resources of Heritage Builders and their Family Night starter kit now available in the faith@home center.  Click on the following link to learn more about launching your own Family Night:  Family Nights Explained 

Family Night Startup, Part 3

We continue with Laws V, VI, and VII this week.  First, let's review the first four laws from "Teaching to Change Lives" by Dr. Howard Hendricks.  He explains seven laws of teaching that are extremely valuable to every parent who hopes to impress God's truth onto the hearts of their precious children.

I. The Law of the Teacher
The effective parent-teacher is a student among students.
II. The Law of Education
The effective parent-teacher realizes that the way people learn determines how you teach.
III. The Law of Activity
Maximum learning is always the result of maximum involvement.
IV. The Law of Communication
To truly impart information requires the building of bridges.

V. The Law of the Heart

Teaching that impacts is not only head-to-head but also heart-to-heart. Deut. 6 explains that heart-to-heart teaching is really life-to-life teaching. Jesus was the Master at this! His method was, and still is, simply ingenious:

I do 

I do with you 

You do with me 

You do

Jesus never asked the disciples to do something He had not already done Himself. Let's look at prayer. Jesus prayed all night to God before He chose His disciples (Luke 6:12). Mark 3:14 explains: "And He appointed twelve, that they might be with Him." We could call this the ministry of "Witness." Jesus was almost always making sure the disciples were with Him. That is why, after being with their Master for extended periods and seeing Jesus pray, they finally had to ask, "Lord, teach us to pray." And, teach them, He did — life-to-life. Herein lies the modeling and accountability aspect.

A. I do - during Family Nights, you explain the desired Godly behavior, attitude, discipline or principle. You give real examples in your life about how you applied what you have taught. Then, from that night on, you have made your children more aware of the principle and they will watch what you do! They will listen and watch to see if you modeled the principle.

B. I do with you / You do with me - Since Family Night teaches the formal and sets up the informal, the world your children live in becomes their classroom to test and apply these principles. As your child confronts a situation and discusses it with you, you can walk him/her through the application of the principle. Then, when they are confronted with the same or similar situation, they will apply the principle and come to tell you about it.

VI. The Law of Encouragement
Teaching tends to be most effective when the learner is properly motivated. Nothing motivates quite like affirmation. The wisest man who ever lived, Solomon, knew this. "Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it." Dads and Moms, you've got the power. Work hard at catching your children doing well. When you see or hear of those times, underscore them and praise them. Help children see themselves as God sees them, build them up. Conversely, sarcasm and cut-downs can destroy and cause children to mistrust and be quiet.

Family Nights provide the opportunity to draw out daily actions/decisions your children have made and praise them. Every chance we have to honor one or all of our children for living what they learn, we should do it. They will also let you know when they have done well because they desire praise. You will not lack the opportunity!  The key is to follow through and do it!

We will continue next week with Family Night Startup, Part 4, the final segment in this series. We want to recommend the resources of Heritage Builders and their Family Night starter kit which will be available in the faith@home center soon.  Until then, click on the following link to learn more about launching your own Family Night:  Family Nights Explained 

Family Night Startup, Part 2

In his brilliantly practical book "Teaching to Change Lives", Dr. Howard Hendricks explains seven laws of teaching that are extremely valuable to every parent who hopes to impress God's truth onto the hearts of their precious children.

I. The Law of the Teacher
The effective parent-teacher is a student among students. We can only hope to impart what we have learned. Moms and Dads, share with your children what God has taught, and is still in the process of teaching, you.  As a learner still learning, tell them of your successes and stumbles, your triumphs and struggles as they directly relate to the topic of your Family Night. Parents, by your example, you will establish levels of vulnerability. Your children will respect you for your openness.

Josh McDowell has put into an equation form the following:
RULES + RELATIONSHIP = RESPECT
RULES — RELATIONSHIP = REBELLION

We need to spend as much time as we can with our children. We need to be intentional and at times, quite sacrificial. We must build solid relationships with our children. We need to share what we have learned about life. As parents when we lay down rules, lots of times our children do not like them, but we know they have a purpose. My parents' purpose was for us to do better than they had done. That's the purpose of Family Nights — to teach our children, by God's grace, to do better than we did. Family Nights earn respect for parents because they build relationships.

II. The Law of Education
The effective parent-teacher realizes that the way people learn determines how you teach. Each person learns differently. There are three distinct ways of learning: a) auditory = listening, b) visual = by sight, and c) psychomotor = by touching/testing. Realizing that no one person learns exclusively one way only, it does seem that people favor certain senses more than others from which to gather and process information. The wise parent-teacher incorporates within Family Night  the chance to use any or all three learning styles that best address their children. For the listener, more illustrative stories or music can be used. For the visual learner, use videos or white boards. For the psychomotor learner, you can use object lessons or crafts.

III. The Law of Activity
Maximum learning is always the result of maximum involvement. The more the learner is engaged and involved, the more learning takes place. Dr. Hendricks believes, and we strongly agree, that Christian education today is much too passive. Jesus said in Matthew 16:24: "If anyone wishes to come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." Notice those verbs, they're action verbs. They're words that convey passion, strong intent, and maximum involvement. Our hope for Family Night is that they be intentional, strong, passionate, and action-filled. Herein lies the key — action-filled. The element of fun comes through a strong object lesson. The object lesson creates a fun anticipation for the unknown. An object lesson provides involvement to help the children experience the points and enhance their understanding. Half the fun is in the actual setup of the object lesson. The curiosity of the child is heightened.

IV. The Law of Communication
To truly impart information requires the building of bridges. It involves searching for stepping stones of commonality between the parent-teacher and the child-learner. Common experiences and common relationships are integral bridge builders. Many parents are quick to point out the differences between their childhood experiences and their childrens'.  We believe the pointing out of similarities and congruent experiences, feelings of empathy, build strong bridges across which effective communication can flow.  Our children like to hear stories, see pictures or home movies of when we were their age. You will uncover much common ground with your child!

We will continue next week with the last three laws of teaching from "Teaching to Change Lives" by Dr. Howard Hendricks.  We want to recommend the resources of Heritage Builders and their Family Night starter kit which will be available in the faith@home center soon.  Until then, click on the following link to learn more about launching your own Family Night:  Family Nights Explained